Flexing Friday

:::11:30 am:::
At work we are able to flex our time (i.e. move hours worked from one day to another within a pay period). This week was intense with some long days and I am able to only work a half day today (i took 4 hrs last Friday too in anticipation of my crazy week). Lucky me, I won the weather lottery, it’s the first beautiful day in a long time. Unlucky for Matt though, as he is busy at work and can’t join me for a fun day in Seattle. *sadface* I work south of Seattle and live north, so I’m taking the bus to downtown to bum around for the afternoon.  I love being alone with my thoughts in the city and I will likely update this post throughout the day for now here is my view from the bus…

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Starbucks HQ in SODO

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Century link field, home of the Sounders FC and Seahawks.
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Headed into downtown.

:::12:15:::
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The Seattle Library. Such an interesting building and I have never been in it. I venture inside in search of a restroom.

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Le sigh, amazing.

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Surprise, surprise I end up in the stacks.  I spent many an hour in the stacks at Purdue during undergrad and grad school.

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The view up here is better than the undergrad library at Purdue though.

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Hello old friend, long time no see. If I wasn’t on a mission I would stay and hangout a bit.

:::1:00:::
The Hard Rock by Pike Place for a lunchtime beer – chosen solely for their rooftop deck. Vitamin d, yay!

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I have lots of random stuff kicking around in my head. Let me brain dump while I enjoy a drink in the sun.

New Glasses

I picked up some new specs last weekend.  I’m loving the aqua accent- ’nuff said.

Fitbit

*Uploaded when I got home. 10,938 steps, 4.2 miles, 28 flights of stairs today- woot

Matt and I both got Fitbits (pedometer on steroids).  He is so much better about getting close to 10,000 steps than I am. Perhaps it is because his fit bit is coming on to him.  It will randomly display a message on its screen.  I get messages like “Rock On Amy” and “GOAAAAL” while Matt’s says “Hold Me Matt” and “Hug Me Matt”.  What a needy little b!tch his fit bit is! She better watch out. *grin*

Dream Kid Carrier

I took this photo a couple of weeks ago on my commute home . Swoon.  Matt and I agree if we have a family and it exceeds 2 kids (we hope for at least 3 kiddos) we would prefer to haul the kiddos in a vintage VW bus rather than a minivan or SUV.  Practical it is not… but a girl can dream right?

Facebook Break
If you are friends with me on Facebook you might have noticed (or not) I have been gone for over a month now. (I should note that Wordpress automatically posts on my wall when I publish a post) It has been wonderful and sad at the same time. I’ve been in a rough patch (more on that below) and stepping away from FB felt like a relief. It gave me the space to be where I needed to be, without questions or interruption. It protected me (to a large extent) from topics, statuses etc that caused me pain. I don’t know how to explain the concept that someone else’s life or experiences can be a constant reminder or trigger of pain for someone who is in the midst of a different reality.  Also, I felt like I had to keep up a happy online face. Disappearing let me wear whatever face that suits me that day- its been a mix, not all sad, not all happy. Leaving all of that for a month has been like a breath of fresh air.

However, the Facebook break has also been sad, I have missed out on all sorts of news (especially family) because FB has become the ONLY place we touch base these days. My SIL  Tig has been great about touching base with me via other mechanisms but I still feel like I am missing important family news. I have logged in to FB a few times in the past week. I am lurking, and not yet engaging back in the conversation. The jury is still out on how and when I connect to social media again.

On Darkness
So, yeah, umm, gee. I don’t really know how to start. A couple blogging friends of mine recently shared how darkness has crept into their lives and created the desire to retreat and be more isolated and pensive.

I.SO.RELATE.   2012 has had me in a funk. I feel like I should offer a disclaimer that things are fine with my husband (who should win “husband of the year” for being so supportive of me during this time), our relationship, our health and our jobs.  Earlier this week I touched base with a former coworker I hadn’t spoken with in years. We chatted a while before she asked, “Amy, what is wrong you don’t sound like your normal self, I hear sadness in your voice”. Here I thought that I was putting on a good show.

In the past I have needed to share, process out-loud and commiserate with others. Now I have an overwhelming desire to retreat, to not engage socially, and to make my world smaller.   I have needed to avoid certain people and situations. Why the hell am I telling you this if I am not going to share with you the details of this funk? I guess because when I read posts about others going through similar situations I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I felt validation that my instincts to retreat and protect were not outrageous.

If we’re close and you have no idea whats going on with me please don’t take it personal.  I have people to talk to, including my fabulous therapist.  I went 4 years without talking to her- it was great to make an appointment and talk with someone (other than Matt) about life these days.   This, of course, isn’t an open invitation for inquiry- if I feel compelled to tell you about it I will.

You might be glad to hear that I think I have crested the worst if it. I think I am on the path to being my normal self. Most days are filled with light as of late.

Buffalo Wild Wings

A couple of weeks ago the first B-Dubs opened in the Seattle area, just 5 minutes from our house.  We were there on opening night (it was a madhouse) and we’ve been once a week since.  The bar manager “might” know our names.  Friday night trivia has become our thing.  I can’t wait to join Matt there tonight.

:::1:45:::

The Hard Rock food didn’t appeal to me.  I headed down the street and grabbed a gyro. I paid as much for my beer as I did for my lunch.

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I found a spot to eat in an alley behind Pike Place.

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:::2:00:::
Pike Place Market
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Zelda Ocarinas! If I had an ounce of musical ability I would snatch one up!
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I love strolling the market.
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Cigar box ukulele! Refer to earlier comment about musical ability.
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I snagged some basil garlic pasta…
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Picked up an orange for the ride home…
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Said hi to Rachel the pig…
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Enjoyed hot fresh donuts…
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Was tempted by some oysters…
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Admired the beautiful flowers
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And left with a yellow and orange bouquet of my own.

:::2:45:::
Time to head north.
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On my way to the bus I pass Macys, the former Bon Marche still bears its name just under the Macys sign.
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A glimpse in the window.
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Almost to my bus stop, I admire the newly painted space needle. The top is orange in commemoration of the 50th anniversary of the Seattle World’s Fair.
image:::3:00:::
I hop on a bus north.
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Goodbye Seattle! Thanks for hanging with me today. Getting lost in the crowds, snapping photos, and writing this post (at the hard rock and on the bus) was a blast and rejuvenating.

My first post written entirely on my cell phone with cell phone photos. My poor battery was dead by the time I got to my bus stop.

Wishing you a wonderful weekend.

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2 Comments

Filed under Daily Life

2 responses to “Flexing Friday

  1. Patrick and I just got FitBits in April for my birthday! I get up to 10,000 easily every day I work. My day off? Not so much.
    I loved reading this post because I’ve visited Seattle a few times (I lived in Victoria BC) and I recognized so many of the photos you posted!

  2. Seattle is so beautiful! Many hugs to you and I hope you are able to move past the darkness soon.

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